Confidence

Synonyms for confidence – tenacity, courage, certainty, self-possession

Definition – belief in oneself

I’ve struggled with this my entire life.  There are clear, white moments when I am filled with confidence and absolutely know that I am well able to tackle the linebacker.  Then – there are cloudy, mousy times when I get totally sacked by something so seemingly simple.

We each struggle with critters of some fashion whether they are self-created or imaginary.  Each of us should take a stand against them like Gandalf in Lord of the Rings when he confronts Balrog on the bridge and proclaims, “You shall not pass!”  Only to feel the strike of the tail as it whips us into another free fall – having to deal with it one more time.

But we have to take a stand or the struggle weaves itself into our identity and becomes who we are.

Remember the scene in Peter Pan when the child takes Robin Williams’ face in his hands,  squishes it all different directions, looks into his eyes and says, “Oh, there you are!”  Peter Pan had grown up and in the stress or struggles of his life – Peter Pan had forgotten who he was.  That’s what we need Jesus to do for us at times – take our face in His hands while he presses us beyond our comfortable places and proclaims with wide eyes, “Oh, there you are!”

Confidence has become an area of serious healing for me.  I’ve watched as God has orchestrated my steps to walk out a truth when I’m more comfortable believing the lie.

Authentically walking out a truth takes more than just blindly repeating scriptures over and over again like chanting.  Because ultimately, your behavior lets the secret out of what you actually believe.  I’ve seen people chant scripture for years, but their behavior never changes.  I don’t wonder if what they actually believed in the quietness of their hearts hasn’t changed at all.

And is it not all about truth?  Isn’t THAT supposed to set us free?  But if we know the truth, then why hasn’t it brought freedom?

So recently, I have pulled a Gandalf.  I’ve stood on my own bridge and stared down an old familiar creature that regurgitates the stupid things I was told growing up.  I’ve given too much time, energy and personal space to it.  I’m done with it.

“You shall not pass!”